


[vore] Soup or Salad

by DandelionSea, wolfbunny



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cooking, Dismemberment, Gen, Hard vore, Non-fatal vore, Vore, unwilling prey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandelionSea/pseuds/DandelionSea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfbunny/pseuds/wolfbunny
Summary: Sans and Papyrus visit a restaurant in an unusual universe.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	[vore] Soup or Salad

**Author's Note:**

> All credit to Dandelion and all blame to me :3  
> I mostly just did the illustrations

"Soup or salad?"

When the waiter had given Sans the choice, he had never imagined it would be a matter of life or death. Well, maybe not his life or death, but still. 

"uh… I think I'll just have the soup," Sans said, feeling uncertain. He didn't know his order came with a side, the menu was barely comprehensible and covered in decorative swirls and frills. Sans had to lift off a handful of tassels just to see the hors d’oeuvres. The waiter jotted down his order while his brother huffed. 

"SANS, WOULD IT KILL YOU TO EAT HEALTHY FOR ONE MEAL?" he said, handing his menu to the kind spider serving their table. Sans shrugged. 

"we're on vacation," he said. "lettuce cut loose!"

The Papyrus across from Sans snickered, while his own Papyrus threw his hands up, knocking over a saltshaker and nearly spilling his juice on the lap of Sans' counterpart. Sans caught the glass with a hand and steadied it, looking out the window they sat beside. Several dogs, wolves, foxes and snake monsters walked (and slithered) by. The universe they had entered was a completely new one - they hadn't quite decided on a name for it yet. It resembled Underswap on the surface, except every single inhabitant seemed to be some sort of predator. Even Grillby, stuck in Hotland where Sans' Muffet usually was, had a set of flames poking up as ears and flickering canines that resembled a wolf or dog. Sans and Papyrus quickly located their predator counterparts — a tall and slender fox-like Papyrus, and a tiny, energetic fennec Sans. Sans and Papyrus stayed at their house while they made a report of the universe — it helped when the Sans and Papyrus of the universe were friendly. It meant free room and food plus someone local to show the brothers around their world. 

"aw, lay off him, me," the Papyrus of this world winked. "he's being soup-er healthy!"

Papyrus moaned and the smaller Sans barked at his brother, "WE ARE OUT TO A NICE DINNER WITH NEW FRIENDS AND YOU BRING THIS LOW-BROW HUMOR HERE?"

"eh, what can i say? you take miso many places I just can't behave myself I soup-pose."

"YOU ALREADY USED THAT ONE!" 

Papyrus stood up sharply, eyes closed in exasperation. "THAT'S IT. I'M GOING TO THE RESTROOM TO WASH UP. WHEN I GET BACK THERE SHALL BE NO PUNERY UNLESS IT IS VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT AND HUMOROUS."

"OH LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW, YOU SCARED OFF OUR GUEST WITH YOUR DUMB JAPES!" the fennec Sans snapped, standing up on the booth with a hand extended. 

"heh. humerus," the fox Papyrus chuckled under his breath, reaching for a cigarette in his jacket pocket. "your bro's pretty funny."

Sans beamed; even if he was certain that Papyrus hadn't meant to make that pun, that only made it even funnier. He watched as the small Sans with big ears thumped back down into his seat, arms crossed. "WELL, AT LEAST YOUR BROTHER HAS SOME TABLE MANNERS."

Sans rested his head on his hand, wondering when their food would arrive. He was actually pretty glad his order came with soup — he ate a small lunch so that he would have room for dinner, but now that just meant he was starving instead of looking forward to the meal. He kept his mind occupied by watching the two brothers sitting across from him. Papyrus was fiddling with his lighter, trying to find the most discreet way to light up under the table while fennec Sans busied himself building a house of cards out of sugar packets. 

"so, uh, what kind of food do they have in your universe?" this world's Papyrus asked. "cuz we have a… heh… a pretty unique diet here."

"oh really?" Sans said. "i haven't noticed much of a difference." While he and Papyrus had been staying at the brothers' house they'd mostly eaten chips, pasta, and various vegetables his brother insisted on for their health. Fox-Papyrus shrugged. 

"sans n' i eat mostly vegetarian, but around here people are more... carnivorous than that." Sans didn't like the way that pause made him feel. It seemed like there was some piece of the puzzle that he was missing, though maybe if this universe's Sans and Papyrus were vegetarians they were just off-put by their counterparts ordering something with meat in it. Sans shrugged it off. 

"makes sense — you kinda got a lot of predators here," Sans said. "we got some in our universe too."

"oh," Papyrus said, looking relieved. "do they, uh… eat meat?"

"yeah, sure," Sans shrugged. "i mean, most monsters in our universe do. i eat meat sometimes." Papyrus raised an eyebrow, but still seemed to be put at ease hearing that, which was strange for someone who had just come out as vegetarian two sentences prior.

"uh… okay, good," he said, finally getting his lighter to snap on. "then you won't be freaked out by—" Before Papyrus could get the cigarette between his teeth it was snapped out by a delicate spider hand. 

"How many times have I told you, dearie?" Muffet said, four of her eight arms lifting trays of appetizers onto the table. "You can't smoke in here. There is a perfectly nice bench outside if you need to smoke that bad."

"aw, but it's cold out there," Papyrus whined. "can't i just open the window a bit?"

"I don't want my diner smelling like smoke for the next eight hours," she returned, waving an upper hand over her nose for emphasis. "Just because you can't smell that awful stench doesn't mean I or my customers should have to put up with it."

Papyrus pouted while his brother nodded in agreement. "GOOD ON YOU, MUFFET. MY BROTHER CAN GO ONE MEAL WITHOUT HAVING ONE OF THOSE AWFUL DEATH STICKS POKING OUT FROM—"

Sans didn't hear the rest of his counterpart's speech. He was too transfixed by his soup. On the surface, it was just like any other bowl of soup. Pea, carrots, celery — even a decorative fried egg on the side — and steam rolling up in small puffs fogging up the glass of the window it sat next to. That was all normal, appetizing, even; no, it was what was inside the bowl that had Sans' eyes caught. 

"uh… waiter? there's a rabbit in my soup."

He meant it as a joke, but the words came out pretty dry and humorless. Sitting in the broth of his soup was a very small monster — just large enough that its legs poked out from the bowl on one end and its head on the other. It was a skeleton, though like the brothers of this world it had big fluffy ears on the top of its skull. Unlike the brothers, however, these ears were rabbit-like with a pea and piece of carrot stuck to the fur. There was a joke to be made there, but it would be in poor taste. Heh… probably a joke there too. 

Sans tore his eyes away from the rabbit to look at Muffet, who was staring at him with an eyebrow raised. "Yes? You ordered the rabbit stew, didn't you?" Sans' mouth felt dry. She couldn't be serious… "I'm sorry, did you not realize he would be whole? I could take the soup back to the kitchen and cut it up for you."

The rabbit flinched so hard it made the bowl shake, confirming Sans' fear that despite its eyelights being out, it was in fact alive. 

"nah, muf — I think our friend here was just pullin' your leg, well, one of your legs," Fox-Papyrus said, leaning back in the booth. Muffet thumped him on the head with a menu before leaving the order of curly fries on the table. Sans' attention was pulled back to the rabbit in his soup. 

The little monster had managed to light its eyes with hazy dots. The fuzzy white orbs met Sans' and despite the terror in its gaze it managed a snarl. Sans couldn't look away, despite how much he didn't want to meet the monster's eyes. Was this what passed for food in this universe?? Was this why Sans and his brother had only met predators here? The people of this universe… had they cannibalized out an entire subspecies of monster??

"OTHER ME?" Sans was snapped away from his impending panic by the voice of his counterpart. The fox looked concerned, ears folded at half mast and a single curly fry dangling between his teeth. Sans thought, for just a moment, that he felt safe. The other Sans seemed so harmless and compassionate — that was, until he saw the sharp, predatory teeth pointing out from under the fry. Sans shuddered. 

"heh, hey bro? i think i'm gonna go take a smoke outside." The Papyrus from this world stood up, pushing himself away from the table. "sans 2, you want one too?"

Sans didn't smoke, but he was smart enough to see an out when he was offered one. He nodded his head and stood up. The other Sans was none too pleased to see his brother rubbing off his bad behaviors on alternate versions of himself, but he made no objection. Sans left behind the bowl of rabbit (much to the rabbit's visible relief, as his head hung back into the broth) and followed his brother's double out the main doors. 

For a few uncomfortable minutes, there was silence between the two as Papyrus lit a cigarette and offered one to Sans out of courtesy. Sans refused, and watched the perplexing sight of his brother from another world lighting up. Despite having watched Swap-Papyruses do it before, it never failed to spin his skull. 

"so, uh," Papyrus said, fiddling with the stick between his teeth. "i imagine you have a few questions…"

"mhmm, yeah, i do," Sans said, letting his face melt into a smile that was more manic than his regular charm would allow. "mainly something along the lines of: what the hell? what the fuck? and other such queries."

Papyrus laughed mirthlessly. "yeah… yeah i should have expected that." He pulled the cigarette away from his teeth and muttered. "yer just like the others…"

Sans raised both brow bones, smile never failing. "others??" He asked, voice still containing the pitch of someone on the verge of an insane laughing fit. 

"yeah, heh… yer… uh… not the first set of sans and papyruses to think of traveling to our world for educational purposes…"

"what, did you cannibalize the rest of them?" Sans meant it as a joke, but half way through he realized the truth to his statement and his voice caught with fear. How could he get him and his brother out of here before that happened? Before he needed to think on that, this world's Papyrus — the predator — shook his head. 

"nah nah, don't get all bent out of shape — they left our world right around the time they found out about its… little quirks."

"like cannibalism?" Sans retorted dryly. 

"yeah, that specifically," Papyrus replied. 

Sans nodded, processing this new information. Not only was this universe full of cannibalizing monsters, but there were also universes so like Sans' own that they would travel to this cannibalism universe and be just as disturbed as he was right now. There was so much to think about, and yet none of it would help the poor rabbit-skeleton monster who was—

"wait…" Sans said, waving his hands as if that could clear the mental for this insanity brought upon him. "wait, wait, wait."

The Papyrus who was not his brother stared at him, waiting. Sans shook a finger before pointing it at him. 

"you…" Sans chuckled, as if this were all some bad joke. "you told me you and your brother were mostly vegetarian,"

"uh… huh… yeah…" the Papyrus said slowly, weighing each word against Sans' response. 

"mostly," Sans clarified, waiting only a moment for confirmation to continue. "which means… that sometimes… you two do eat other monsters."

The Papyrus at least had the decency to look somewhat ashamed, a flush spread across his cheeks and a hand grasped at the back of his head. "well, i mean, in this world it's pretty hard to avoid altogether. it's eat or be eaten."

Sans blinked, looking at his brother's double as if it was the first time. How could he have ever thought this skeleton was anything like his sweet, innocent brother? The brother that could never harm a fly. The brother that adopted a pet rock because it was alone in the snow. The brother that wouldn't bother humans even though they were needed to save all of monsterkind. This Papyrus couldn't be anything like the brother he knew. 

"huh" was all Sans managed to say, after he was done processing this new information. "well… and how many sanses and papyruses have run off before us?"

Papyrus thought for a moment, eyelights rolling up skyward as he counted mentally. After a moment he looked back down. "five," he replied. "including the pair that tried to eat the rabbit but couldn't make it through the appetizers."

"welp," Sans said, shoving his hands so deep into his pockets the stitches audibly tore. "count us as set number six — be seein' ya never, monster-killer." Sans started to walk back towards the skeleton house, planning to use the front door to teleport to the washroom to grab his brother before sending them home. Before he could go a hand rested on his shoulder 

"wait," Papyrus said, exhaustion in his tone. “look — just…” He closed his eyes and stuck out a hand reaching for Sans’ jacket. Sans flinched away. “can we maybe make a deal?” 

“if it involves me goin' back in there and eatin’ a live monster, no,” Sans said, eyelights blank.

“i mean, it sort of does?” Papyrus scrambled to block Sans' path towards the door before he could teleport away. “wait! wait — just… you wanna save the little monster there, right?” 

Sans stopped, eying the predatory Papyrus warily. “... i guess… if it can be helped?” 

The Papyrus sighed. “look, my bro gets real bummed when the other sanses take off runnin’.” Sans could hardly find it in him to care about the feelings of some cannibalizing version of himself. “and if ya don’t eat the rabbit, they’re just gonna…” He paused to find the right words. “dispose of it.”

“sounds better than gettin’ eaten,” Sans argued, but the Papyrus in front of him shook his head, fox-like ears tilting forward. 

“no, it’s not,” He said. “in our universe there’s… uh… ways of gettin’ around the whole death-after-being-eaten thing…”

Sans blinked. “oh…” Slowly, he began to piece together Papyrus’ plan.

“yeah, oh,” Papyrus nodded, maneuvering Sans away from the door to let a couple of wolf monsters through. “all ya gotta do is swallow the monster without breakin’ any of his bones — you can even take it one limb at a time if that makes it easier.” Sans grimaced at the thought. “then, when we get back home, i’ll show ya how to let ‘im out. deal?” Papyrus stuck out a hand. Sans hesitated. 

“...i’m not letting my bro watch a live monster get eaten,” Sans said. The frustrated sound the fox made would have been comical in any other situation. 

“i’ll stall him!” The Papyrus threw up his hands. “if we hurry, i can distract him before he gets back to the table.” 

Sans thought for a moment. If there was a chance to save a monster, he should take it, no matter how distasteful (heh) the methods. The thought alone already made him want to gag, but… it was a good plan, no matter how he looked at it. 

Sans sighed. “well, it should be easy to stall my bro in the bathroom,” Sans gave a wink and a forced smile. “cuz there’s plenty of stalls in there.” He stuck out a hand for the predator to shake. 

Papyrus snickered, taking hold of it. “i better hurry then,” he said, turning around and heading into the restaurant. “i wouldn’t want toilet you down.” 

Sans laughed. In another time it might have been genuine. He watched Papyrus’ tail disappear into the doorway, and he took a deep breath. He was really gonna do this, wasn’t he? He could always back out now, teleport real quick, grab his bro, and mark this universe as a bust. But… there was that rabbit in the soup. If there was even a tiny chance he could get that monster out of this alive, he should take it. It was the right thing to do — and his brother would never forgive him if he didn’t do the right thing.

So, with that thought, he braced himself and pushed through the doors into the restaurant. 

\---

“Oh! Other Me!! I’m Glad You’re Back!” The Sans of this universe smiled, giving a wave. “My Brother Rushed Off To The Restroom So Fast I Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Ask Him Where You Were. I Was Worried You Ran Away.” There was a hint of melancholy in his tone that reminded Sans just enough of his own brother to make him feel guilty. 

“nah, i just wanted tibia good guest and keep ‘im company while he took a smoke.” Sans sat back down and looked at his soup. The rabbit seemed like it had passed out — or was napping. He kept his expression neutral as he picked up a spoon. Right thing to do… right thing to do…

“If You Don’t Want To Eat That, We Can Order You Something Else…” the skeleton across from him said. Sans didn’t need to look up from his bowl to see the knowing gaze that the Sans was giving him. 

Sans forced a smile, dipping the spoon in the broth and waking up the small monster with a jolt that splashed soup onto the table. “‘s fine, i love rabbit, i was just a little shocked to find a hare in my soup.” He winked and forced the spoon into his mouth. He hated that it tasted good. 

The Sans across from him groaned, seeming to forget his concern for the other. “I Swear, You’re Worse Than My Brother,” he said. Sans chuckled. 

“does that mean ya gotta put a ‘g’ in the swear jar?” Sans teased. He was stalling, he knew it. The Papyrus could only keep his brother in the bathroom for so long. He knew that he should just swallow the whole thing in one go, but there was no inconspicuous — or elegant — way to do that here. He would have to separate the limbs and reattach them later. Thankfully (and horrifically) the heat of the water had loosened the magical ties between the bones, as they were visibly faded. It wouldn’t take much force to break them apart.

He looked down at the rabbit, whose hazy eyes looked back at him. The rabbit’s expression was still defiant, but there was something else there now: pleading. The smaller monster could sense Sans’ intentions, and he was begging Sans for help. 

Welp. Only one way out of this now. 

Sans drove his spoon down between the left shoulder and arm. He hoped it didn’t hurt too much, and that the pained expression on the rabbit’s face was one of mortal terror and not agony. The arm bone popped out of place easily, and floated in the broth. He suppressed a shudder and scooped it out, making no effort to think about the action before sticking the severed limb in his mouth. It was… delicious. He hated it. But the bone was sweet and salty, and his magic saw no difference between it and the carrot broth surrounding it. They were both equally food to his magic. He was disgusted, but at least that made it easier on one of them. 

He swallowed, and the rabbit went entirely limp as the connection to his lost limb was severed. Sans realized horribly that the rabbit was going to be able to feel much more of this process than he had hoped.

The other Sans kept up a one-sided conversation, going over some more details of this universe for Sans’ report. The composition of the guard, the percentage of species among ranking members… Sans would have to ask him to go over the details later, because he kept his mind entirely on not gagging as he broke off the leg of the rabbit at the knee. He didn’t think he could manage another entire limb; he had to stomach a lot of horrible things in his life, but this might be the first to actually make him lose his lunch. There was a pun to be made there, but this was one of those rare times where he wasn’t in the mood for one. 

The rabbit made a low sobbing sound that came as more of a sigh while Sans tried to make quick work of the foot and leg in his mouth. He wondered briefly if it would be more or less awful for the creature if he broke off the limbs all at once, or kept doing it in pieces as he was. Sans realized he probably couldn’t bring himself to dismember a monster all at once, so he stuck to eating him bit by bit. It was gross, but only on a conceptual level. The pure magic of monster bone and sweet broth was undeniably savory, delicious, even. Somewhere deep in his mind, in a place he would never visit again, he could understand how a society of monsters could enjoy this. It was good, it was really, really…

He looked back down at the rabbit monster, who seemed to be attempting to will himself unconscious. This was bad. Sans sighed, and took a much larger bite on the next spoonful.

“Oh! You Must Have Been Really Hungry,” the other Sans commented as Sans finished the last of the rabbit’s extremities. A small chest, skull, and slowly beating soul were all that was left. 

“yeah,” Sans lied, breaking off a pair of bones with his fingers. “i mean, just look at me, i’m all bones here.” 

This world’s Sans groaned as he picked off the ribs. It was almost over; just a little more and then this nightmare could end. The ribs tasted different from the rest of the body, as much as Sans didn’t want to think about it. The limbs had been fuller and more packed with magic. The ribs were mostly solid and didn’t taste like much. Ashy was the only word that came to mind, and Sans hoped dearly that wasn’t the taste of someone falling down. There was no way to know if such a morbid fact was true, so he kept breaking apart the ribs and spine until there was just the skull and soul floating in the soup. 

Sans couldn’t help but shudder as he took in the sight. That… that would be in his nightmares for a while. The skull seemed completely lifeless — the eyelights long since gone out — only the beating soul bobbing in broth betrayed his continued life. Sans knew that he had to finish this now… he’d gone so far, he wouldn’t back down. He poked at the watery stew next to the soul, the ripples jiggling the still floating ears of the rabbit. He wished that this world’s Papyrus would have told him if it was safe to eat the soul. Having done all this, Sans didn’t think he could live with himself if he accidentally digested the poor creature. 

There was a loud crash and a stammered apology from across the room. Sans looked up and the skeleton across from him turned in his booth. Even the skull of the rabbit flinched, proving that he was, in fact, still conscious despite having been picked apart. 

“OH, I’M TERRIBLY SORRY — LET ME HELP!!” Papyrus — his Papyrus — was already on his knees and helping a young spiderling pick up a tray of fallen silverware. The other Papyrus stood behind them, giving Sans a pointed look. Time’s up. 

Sans reached forward and grabbed the edges of the bowl, forcing the entire contents down his throat before he had time to think about it. He didn’t have time to taste it, but the jolt of magic he got as the soul brushed his tongue sent shivers down his spine. He all but slammed the bowl back down on the table, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He was triumphant, even if he didn’t feel it over the overly full belly and sickness at what he had just achieved. The other Sans looked at him with mild disgust, and Sans couldn’t find it in himself to argue with the sentiment. 

“I Know I’m Not Supposed To Comment On My Guest’s Eating Habits…” he said in a voice trying far too hard not to be rude while saying something impolite. “But It Seems Rather… Wrong To Slurp Your Soup In A Restaurant…”

Sans forced a weak smile. “...heh. you’re right, i hope you can forkgive me.” 

“THAT DOESN’T WORK!! YOU EAT SOUP WITH A SPOON!” the other Sans shouted, which brought the two Papyruses back to the table. 

“Did my brother make a terrible pun again?” Papyrus asked, a faux-annoyed lilt to his tone. 

“YES, HE DID — RIGHT AFTER HE POURED THE SOUP RIGHT FROM THE BOWL INTO HIS MOUTH!” Sans crossed his arms before scooting over to let his brother in. 

“UGH! SANS!” Papyrus complained, giving Sans a sharp, disappointed look. “THAT’S SO GROSS!! CAN’T YOU HAVE ANY MANNERS IN PUBLIC? THIS IS WHY I CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE!” 

“heh, sorry bro.” Sans shrugged. Papyrus should be disgusted with him; He was just thankful that Papyrus would never know the true reason why. He placed a hand on his gut, the magical barrier keeping the rabbit safe from the predators surrounding them. He had never, ever been this full in his life, and he felt like he could really use a nap. A nap for a few hours… maybe days… weeks would be nice. Maybe he just wouldn’t wake up. That would be even better. 

He really, really hoped that the movement in his stomach was nerves and not the severed bones of a still-conscious, half-eaten monster. 

“Well, I forgive you, I suppose,” Papyrus said, sliding in to sit next to his brother. “You will just have to be more polite when the main course comes.”   
  
“uh, actually… i think i filled up on soup,” Sans said sheepishly. “i’m soup-er sorry.” 

Papyrus groaned. “REALLY, SANS?” Then his scowl turned irritated. “WAS THAT THE SAME PUN THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY?” 

“actually, i was the one who made it first,” the other Papyrus said. 

“WELL, IT ISN’T ANY BETTER TO REUSE SOMEONE ELSE’S TERRIBLE PUN…” Papyrus folded his arms. The other Sans nodded in agreement. 

“aw, come on, you too, bro?” The other Papyrus looked to his brother. “i thought it was sou-”

“FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND NO DESSERT!!!!” The other Sans screeched, and the Papyrus across from Sans snickered while his Papyrus smiled. It was almost normal again; almost. Nothing would ever be normal again for Sans after today. 

“Um, excuse me,” The young waitress that Papyrus had knocked over came up to their table. She was carrying a tray high up so that no one at the table could see what was on it. She motioned to Papyrus. “Sir, did you order a salad with your meal?” 

“OH! THAT’S RIGHT I DID!! I COMPLETELY FORGOT!!” Papyrus smiled and Sans leaned back and closed his eyes. His stomach hurt so much…. 

“I’m sorry it took so long; there was some trouble in the kitchen getting it ready,” she said, and Sans could hear the clink of a plate against the table. “Enjoy!!”

There was a long moment of total silence that Sans missed for the first few beats. He had been so focused on his stomach and trying not to lose the lunch he had given so much to get he didn’t even feel the shift in tone at the table. 

“Um… hello there…” Papyrus said, and Sans cracked open an eye to see who it was his brother was talking to. Strangely, there was no one standing by the booth — the waitress had left and the two brothers were staring intently down at the plate. Sans followed suit, and locked eyes with a long, angry bunny-skeleton monster stiffly positioned atop a bed of lettuce, smothered in dressing and cheese. 

Sans groaned. 

\---

“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD TRY TO HIDE THIS FROM ME!” 

Papyrus threw open the door to their hosts’ house with enough force for it to bounce back against the wall with a thump! Sans and his co-conspirator Papyrus hung their collective heads under the disappointed glares of their brothers. The fox Papyrus’ ears were folded tightly back and his hands were stuck deep into his pockets. 

“sorry, paps… i just didn’t wanna freak you out,” Sans said, watching his brother put the to-go box of salad on the table with a gentleness that defied his previous outbursts of emotion. 

“I AM NOT A DELICATE FLOWER, SANS — THOUGH I MEAN NO OFFENSE TO FLOWER MONSTERS,” he added in. “YOU’RE JUST LUCKY THAT I WAS THERE FOR THE SECOND RABBIT SO THAT I COULD HAVE THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF ORDERING A TAKE-HOME BOX, RATHER THAN EATING AN ENTIRE MONSTER!!!”

Sans flinched under that comment, the guilt feeling somehow both amplified and muted under his brother’s wrath. He was thankful, at least, that it wasn’t going to be kept a secret from Papyrus. Even if he was mad — and rightfully so — Sans thought he might be able to live with himself if his brother knew rather than if he still thought of Sans as the monster who hadn’t cannibalized another living creature. 

“AND YOU!!!” the other Sans shouted, tugging on his brother’s hoodie so that their eyes could meet. “IS THIS WHY ALL THE OTHER VERSIONS OF US LEFT???” He already knew the answer, since his Papyrus had come clean in the restaurant while Sans and he frantically tried to explain the situation. 

“...yeah,” Papyrus said, hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. 

“AND YOU JUST LET ME TAKE ANOTHER PAIR TO MUFFET’S LIKE THAT???” The fennec Sans’s voice was piercing to Sans across the room; he couldn’t imagine how harsh it must be on the ears of his brother’s counterpart only inches away. 

“sorry,” he mumbled. 

“HOW TRAUMATIC!! YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO OUR GUESTS. ESPECIALLY THE OTHER ME.” He motioned to Sans’ gut, which was only partly hidden by Sans’ shirt. He refused to make eye contact with either of them. 

“ ‘s fine,” Sans replied. “i kinda agreed to it.” 

“Before talking to me!” Papyrus snapped, voice dying down. “I am your brother and your travel partner — we are supposed to trust each other. I could have helped!” 

Sans had said sorry enough times tonight; he wanted to say it again. But before he could there was a muffled movement from inside the to-go container and all four of the monsters in the room turned to face it. 

“...we should probably get th’ rabbit outta you now…” the other Papyrus said. “i’m pretty sure when the paralytic stuff muffet puts in her food wears off the other rabbit isn’t gonna be too peachy about its friend bein’ in the belly of the beast.”

Sans didn’t want to wait another minute anyways. He nodded and sat down on the couch while Papyrus and his counterpart went to sit at the other end of the room. As if on cue, the rabbit stuck in the container began to thrash and claw through the plastic above him. Muffet had warned them when Papyrus had asked for a box that this would happen, so Papyrus was ready. As soon as the rabbit freed himself Papyrus caught him, keeping the smaller monster from hopping off the edge of the table. 

“Hello there!” he said in the most Papyrus way. Calm, collected, and smiling, even in the face of obscenity and cruelty. He turned the rabbit to face him. The creature was still partly covered in dressing and hadn’t fully recovered from the nerve agent. He kicked his legs frantically and uncoordinatedly; it was easy for Papyrus to get a dish towel around him to keep him pinned. “My name is Papyrus — I’m from another world.” The rabbit shot him a look of disbelief that years of interdimensional travel had taught Papyrus to recognize. “Judging from that look on your face, I would say that you are also a Papyrus?” 

The rabbit snarled. “Just eat me,” it spit. “I don’t know what kind of mind games this is, but I’m not playing.” 

“Oh! You’re an Edgy me!” Papyrus smiled. “That makes sense.”

“Wait…” the other Sans said, standing on tiptoes to see the other monster. “But I thought my brother and I were the Sans and Papyrus of this world.”

Papyrus hummed. “Well, sometimes these things double up — it looks like you’re one of the lucky universes that has two sets of Sanses and Papyruses!” 

“Oh!” The Sans smiled. “That makes sense.” The rabbit growled again, feeling left out from the conversation. Sans barely paid him any notice. “I bet that makes the smaller rabbit monster your brother ate the rabbit Sans!” 

The torn ears of the tiny rabbit monster folded backwards in grief and rage, and his efforts to struggle free doubled. Papyrus wrapped both hands around him tightly. “It’s okay! Sans… er… My brother is making an effort to un-eat your brother at this very moment!” The statement did very little to calm the thrashing bunny. 

“we’re almost done!” this universe’s Papyrus said. Papyrus turned to see how the effort was going, and was greeted with the sight of many smaller bones scattered across the carpet. In the center was a faintly glowing soul. “... heh… there’s… uh… some assembly required here…” Papyrus tried to shield the other rabbit’s view, but he wasn’t quick enough. The rabbit in his arms screamed, the sound so sudden that Papyrus’ arms went slack and the rabbit went tumbling to the ground. The rabbit-Papyrus clawed his way across the ground, fighting paralysis to crawl towards the pieces of his brother.

Sans gave the other rabbit an apologetic stare before returning to the dismembered rabbit before him. The predator Papyrus was already feeding magic into the bones, making the soul simmer a light green. Sans helped guide them back into place, slowly putting back together the pieces of a rabbit monster. By the time the other bunny had made it over to them, his brother was put back together. The bunny pushed away the larger monsters’ hands carelessly, unafraid. His entire focus was on the smaller rabbit monster.

“Sans,” he hissed, voice quiet, as though he believed the others in the room couldn’t hear him. “Sans, wake up… Wake up right now.”

“he may need a minute…” the fox Papyrus said, receiving only a glare from the bunny. Fox-Papyrus raised his hands defensively, standing up and walking away from them. “whatever. imma go smoke.”

“YOU BETTER NOT DO IT IN THE HOUSE!!!” the other Sans said, following close behind his brother. The front door shut and it was just the rabbits and visitors left in the small circle. The rabbit Papyrus clung to his brother, holding him tight against his chest. Sans’ heart ached for him; knowing that they were another set of skeleton brothers from this universe made the empathy all the worse. 

“Little me?” Papyrus said, kneeling down by the rabbit. The rabbit gave him a sideways glare, but it was weaker. “May I give your brother some of my magic?” he asked, glowing his hands green. The rabbit pinned his brother to his chest defiantly. “Please? I don’t want him to get hurt. You see, my brother and I are from another universe where monsters don’t eat other monsters. Ever.” 

Sans silently blessed his brother. Even in the worst (and weirdest) situations, he always knew just what to say. Despite the composure, the bunny growled. 

“I told you, I won’t play mind games with you,” the little rabbit snapped. “Go away.” 

“Please, I’m not playing mind games,” Papyrus said, posture slackening to show he wasn’t a threat. “I just want to help. I smuggled you out of that restaurant, didn’t I? And my brother smuggled out your brother… in his own way.” He gave Sans a small glare at that, who bowed his head sheepishly.

“...sorry,” he said, directing it out to everyone in the room. 

The small rabbit seemed no closer to giving up his hold on his brother, but he was listening. “...How did you get to this world then,” he questioned, as if trying to catch Papyrus in a lie. 

“A machine in the basement!” Papyrus replied. “We travel to other worlds all the time. It’s Sans and my job to go to worlds no one has been to before and document all the idiosyncrasies they hold. By far, I would say this world is the strangest.” The rabbit, despite himself, seemed intrigued. His grip on his brother loosened, and Papyrus gave them both a soft smile. “Please? Just let me try to give him a little magic. You won’t even have to let him go.” 

“...” The rabbit’s eyes were downcast, deliberating. Then, he looked back up at Papyrus. “Please… just don’t hurt him.” 

Stars above, bless his brother — Sans watched as the tiny version of his brother slowly loosened his grip on the unconscious rabbit, exposing just enough of him so that Papyrus could lay one glowing hand on his chest. The green magic traveled through the rabbit with a quick pulse and he jolted in his brother’s arms, a soft whine coming from his mouth. 

“Sans!?!” the rabbit said, pulling his brother in closer so he could see into his eyes. The lights were slowly flickering back on, and the bone around them squinted in the harsh living room light. Sans scrambled up to switch the dimmer down. “Sans, can you hear me??” 

“mmn,” the soft rabbit voice came. “not now boss… ‘m tired.” 

“Sans, wake up right now!” the rabbit hissed. “There are predators here and they’ll be back any second, we have to go.” 

The other rabbit mumbled something, but seemed completely disinterested in the waking world. His eyes closed, and quickly he devolved into a snoring sleep. The other Papyrus groaned. 

“It’s okay, my brother is like that too,” Papyrus said fondly, reaching down to pick up the pair of brothers. “You can stay with us until he wakes up, if that would make you feel better. We can even take you to another world — perhaps one with all bunnies!”

Sans eyed his brother — it took a lot of paperwork to get a universe transfer approved, but the sharp look he received from his brother told him that Papyrus would take care of that later. Gaze returning to the brothers in his hands, Papyrus waiting for his smaller counterpart’s reply. After a moment of deliberation the bunny looked back up. 

“Would it be safe?” he asked. “For both of us?”

“Absolutely!” Papyrus replied. “I’ll make sure of that.”

The smaller bunny nodded his head. “Fine. Do whatever you need to do to keep my brother safe.” 

Papyrus stood up, carrying both monsters close to his chest. “You hear that, Sans? It looks like we’ve made some new friends!” Sans followed his brother’s suit and stood up, watching him carefully. “Let’s get back to headquarters and make our report on this world. We can come back later to thank our hosts for their hospitality.”

“sure, bro. let’s get goin’.” Sans smiled. He would do just about anything to leave this insane, cannibalizing universe behind. Well, maybe not eat another monster — though that seal was already broken. As he and his brother stepped through the teleporter, and Sans watched his brother input the coordinates for their destination, he let his mind wander back to the taste of living monster. He was reminded again, just before the teleporter disappeared, of just why he was so glad to leave this world behind. 

The taste of rabbit monster wasn’t so bad… 

  



End file.
